COSMIC DREAMER //

summer snapshot

2012-02-07T14:32:00.001-08:00

summer snapshot by cosmicdreamer featuring leather belts

Nine West heels

2012-02-06T16:36:00.000-08:00

I am in love with these Nine West heels I managed to snag at the Crossroads a couple blocks from my apartment. I went in with my boyfriend, not intending to get anything (ha-ha) and spotted these in my exact size (nine and a half) and knew it was meant to be. They are gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous and were only $18.00, which for a designer pair of shoes is I think a total bargain. They are a deep burgundy suede and though they are a bit worn, I will still treasure them.

The thing I love about them is the shape of the platform, it's so curved and chunky and fabulous. I'm definitely going to wear these on my birthday (even though they make me about 2 or 3 inches taller than my boyfriend). But oh well he can deal with it for the sake of fashion!

xoxo

Birthday presents :)

2012-02-02T21:14:00.001-08:00

Birthday presents :) by cosmicdreamer featuring a sheer chiffon dress

a cosmic wonderland

2011-12-18T10:27:00.001-08:00

a cosmic wonderland by cosmicdreamer featuring feather jewelry

Christmas wishes 2011 xoxo

2011-12-14T16:26:00.001-08:00

Christmas wishes 2011 xoxo by cosmicdreamer featuring vintage black boots

The happiest place on Earth...

2011-08-23T18:44:00.001-07:00

I took a little trip with my boyfriend this past week to one of my favorite tourist destinations: Disneyland!

It was unbelievably relaxing and wonderful vacation. We spent three days exploring the park, and we did just about everything there was to do while still somehow managing to have time to just sit in the little cafes and lesser known nooks and take pretty photos. I've only ever gone to Disneyland with my family or a big group of friends so going with just one other person was a completely new and refreshing experience. So much less stress and exhaustion, let me tell you! We took our time going to our favorite places and enjoying people watching and trying out attractions we usually either don't have time for or skip. Like the Animation Academy in DCA, for example! SO much fun! We went twice and drew Minnie and Winnie the Pooh. Definitely will be making that a staple for my future visits.

Him and I took lots of lovely photos with our handy dandy DSLRs so hopefully you enjoy this little peak into the House of Mouse :)

Oh, and for anyone wondering about what I wore, here's one of the only photos I actually have of myself. I was wearing a cotton feather printed purple dress from Urban Outffitters, a thrifted braided leather belt, black gladiators from Rubi Shoes via Cotton On, and an H&M satchel.

xoxo

new apartment

2011-08-03T17:21:00.001-07:00

So I finally moved into my first apartment in San Francisco this past week! Here are a few shots of my new space...I adore it thus far and am thoroughly enjoying being back in my favorite city :)

*also, I will be posting a summary/photos of some new thrifted items I bought recently!

xoxo

leaves + wings

2011-07-11T18:45:00.003-07:00

(leaves + wings by cosmic-dreamer)

Some more summer inspiration via Polvyvore! I am much too obsessed with this site lately.

xoxo

snippets

2011-07-11T17:59:00.000-07:00

Here are some more snippets of some of my photography I've been churning out this summer thus far.

Sorry none of it is directly fashion related. Unfortunately I only have a 50 mm lens to go with my Canon DSLR so it makes it very difficult to do self-portraits for outfits that focus on the self timer and whatnot! But I'm going to fool around with the settings to try and find a good way to take some photos of my outfits and such! Or maybe force someone to take photos of me? ...Nah.

Lately I've been ill with a sinus infection that has affected my ears and eyesight (my headaches have been so bad I seriously can't even read properly!) and its been pretty miserable. I need to get better before I leave for Disneyland in 6 days!! Ugh. Keep positive thoughts for me?

xoxo

PS: I uploaded a short new video on my fashion youtube channel!

one day in Paris...

2011-07-08T04:00:00.001-07:00

I need to find myself a pleated maxi skirt, a loose sheer blouse, and the Litas of my dreams.

xoxo

PS: I've been going crazy on my Polvyvore account lately. Take a looksie? :)

Inspiration // Scarlett Johansson for VOGUE

2011-06-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite Vogue shoots of all time. It embodies 40's inspired glamour and class. I think the photos are gorgeous and most importantly the styling is impeccably vintage and just wonderfully timeless. I am totally lusting after these garments, and have been for awhile, considering this shoot is from a few years ago!

Scarlett looks just amazing in all the photos and I can't get enough of the stills from the shoot. She has the perfect body type, and honestly her figure is definitely one to envy! She looks straight out of Marilyn Monroe or Bettie Page's time.

Though I don't subscribe to Vogue anymore, I still remember getting this issue in the mail and hanging the photos all over my walls. I am forever in love with 40s/50s inspired cuts and silhouettes. There's something so flattering and feminine about the styles that I can't get enough of. It's so glamorous and lovely!

Anyways, I hope this gives you some classy summer inspiration!

xoxo

Tomfoolery

2011-06-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

I picked up these total TOMS knock-offs today at Target. I wanted a summery comfy shoe, particularly to wear to Disneyland as an alternative to my converse. And these are perfect, they're so girly and casual and surprsingly comfy. And I oddly fit best in a size 9? I think they run a bit small. But altogether they are a cute shoe for the summer months and hopefully they will be comfortable and durable for the many hours I will be spending traipsing around Disneyland.

And even better, they were only around $15, which is a great price cut for the price TOMS usually go for. But at the same time I feel oddly guilty because though TOMS are expensive, they DO use the profits to help children in poverty stricken regions. I feel like I cheated them a bit! :/

But nonetheless, these cuties will be made at home in my shoe collection.

xoxo

absence makes the heart grow fonder...

2011-06-17T00:07:00.001-07:00

I am seriously hardcore enjoying this lazy summer life I've got going. Though some days have become a haze of boredom and lounging around the house, I'm definitely not complaining.
I'm just counting down until I leave for the happiest place on earth in roughly a month! I have put together some outfits in anticipation so check 'em!

Below you will find some photos I've taken with my gorgeous Canon DSLR.

(please click through for larger high-quality images!)

recently read: started Packing For Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach. I love it so far! Recommended.
recently watched: Super 8. I adored it's nostalgic throwback to films like The Goonies and E.T. and I also sensed a distinct connection to The Iron Giant...
recently obsessed over: Dr. Who, the tv series. I started at season 5 (Matt Smith, SWOON) and my first impression is...WHERE HAS THIS SHOW BEEN ALL MY LIFE??!!
recently listened to: Speaking in Tongues (feat. David Byrne) - Arcade Fire
recently worn: a whole bunch of cute stuff! have a looksie here!

Indio or bust

2011-04-11T14:49:00.007-07:00

I am getting to that point where all I can think about is an expanse of green lawn, blaring speakers and sweltering heat. Why can't Coachella be NOW?

I've already started packing, and I've had my three outfits planned even before that. But of course I'm bringing loads of options. I AM SO EXCITED!

Here are a few snippets of what I'm taking and hoping to rock at the festival:

2 DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE!

xoxo

breezy

2011-03-31T15:50:00.001-07:00

Here are some new items I've accumulated over the last few weeks.

I made a haul video about them, you can find it here if you are interested :)

striped cut-out dress: Cotton On, $14
floral ruffle dress: Cotton On, $20
black satchel bag: Goodwill, $4
black oxfords: Target.com, $20 (but I may have to return or exchange them since they are a bit snug)

PS: I'm so happy to be able to use my family's nice camera again, it's just a point-and-shoot but it's miles above my webcam!

xoxo

summer fever

2011-03-28T14:23:00.000-07:00

I just found the most perfect swimsuit bottoms on the planet: Urban Outfitter's high waisted bikini bottoms. Oh my, these are just what I need in my life this summer. I have been wanting to buy a two piece bikini in this cut ever since falling in love with this one from ModCloth. But seeing as that one is $90, there's no way I'll ever be that desperate. But the minute I saw the UO version in their new catalog for one $34, I caved and ordered them online despite them being back-ordered until May. I am so stoked on them, I cannot wait to mix and match them with printed bikini tops! I absolutely adore this retro style and I think it will be flattering on my more curvy figure.I got one in a medium and one in a large since there was some disparity in the reviews about size inconsistency and it running small, so hopefully I'll fit in either of those sizes and can just return the one that doesn't work. Eeek I am so stoked for the coming summer months and COACHELLLLLA IN 2.5 WEEKS!

videos + updates

2011-03-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

This is just a small update to say I have two new youtube videos up on my fashion channel. I'm really starting to get addicted to this whole style guru community on youtube, and I can't wait until I go home for spring break since I'll have tons of free time and lovely space to film more videos! And on top of that, I'll be able to use my nice digital camera again since I haven't had it here at university for too many months. I am so sick of my webcam! That's mostly the reason my clothing updates on here have been so sparse lately, I have nothing to photograph them in :(

But moving onto some more important news.... my discovery of the Australian store Cotton On.

I think I am in love. My friends from school told me about it, and so I thought I'd pop in to see if it suits my taste. And oh my, I am in love. Apparently it is a fairly new Australian brand that just came over to the US and lucky for me there is a store in the mall right next to my campus! I love everything they have. It's all really simple and fashionable clothing (I'm pretty sure most of the items are made mostly of cotton, hence the name) and SO cheap. I bought this adorable cotton stretchy dress (below) for full price, and it was only $14. I seriously want to buy out their dresses, I love them all. Check out their online catalog, seriously, you will thank me later.

The items currently on my wishlist are this sparrow printed dress and this black polka dot dress!

(polka dotted dress: Cotton On, braided Belt: thrifted)

UPDATE: so I caved and went back to Cotton On today with the intention of buying my friend a birthday gift and I left with another dress...I AM OBSESSED. But it's pretty freaking adorable :)

(cream floral dress: Cotton On, woven belt: thrifted)

rings & rompers

2011-02-28T15:29:00.007-08:00

I have been major crushing on these two rompers since I spotted them on Target.com. They are each a perfect springy floral pattern and ROMPERS, which is a realm I have not yet ventured in. When I first saw them, they were only available online so I was way too skeptical of their fit to take the risk. But then I dropped by Target the other day to pick up some daily necessities, and I spotted them on the rack! And usually with Target, the only sizes left in store are XS or XL, so I wasn't too optimistic they'd have any Mediums left. That's the bad thing about being size Medium, because it's pretty average and common so it's NEVER in stock, especially at Target. But thankfully they must have just put the rompers out for spring because there were tons of every size! I was SO ecstatic in only the superficial way finding the perfect dress, or in this case romper, can make me.

I think what makes me love them so much is that at first glance, they look like they could be dresses. I don't usually like the way the really obvious, tight playsuit cut looks on me, so I was really happy to find that these were styled in the way that flatters me. It's almost like a more convenient dress because I can walk around an amusement park, ride rides, sit on grass, watch shows, etc. without having to worry if my dress is riding up or getting caught in the wind or whatever.

But anyways, if you couldn't already tell, I am seriously so stoked about these rompers. I want it to be sunshine and warm out so I can pair them with jean jackets, sandals and sunglasses. I'm already planning ahead to wear the black one to Coachella and the coral one when I go to Disneyland in the summer with my boyfriend's family.

Ahhh why can't the summer holidays (or at least the lovely weather) start NOW?

xoxo

brights + golds

2011-02-23T23:45:00.000-08:00

I recently got a few new additions to my accessory collection in the form of necklaces!

They're actually rather out of the ordinary for me in terms of their general aesthetic. Usually I tend to go for more mellow colored, vintage-inspired/romantic pieces but these really have captured my love. The purple rock piece is from Forever 21 and I really jumped on this trend of stone pieces in jewelry. I love its whole tribal and natural vibe. And I think this particular necklace's color is unusual and quite pretty.

The fish necklace was a gift from my best friend for my birthday, and I ADORE it! She knows my taste too well. I just am in love with the turquoise color against the gold details. And the best part is that it can move and is totally flexible! I am already foreseeing lectures when I'll be playing and fiddling with it the whole time.

I found this amazing bag a while ago while thrifting and I had to share it. It's got this amazing metal texture that almost feels scale-like and it was just too weird and unique for me to pass up! It's a little hard to figure out what to wear it with and when but it's such a cool piece that I'm determined to figure it out.

And speaking of thrifting, I've noticed that lately a lot of my buys have been from retail shops and I really want to get back into the swing of thrifting more! I have only gone a few times over the last couple months and my inner frugal treasure hunter is aching for more!

xoxo

batwings + paintdrips

2011-02-23T23:16:00.000-08:00

I am in love with this top. It's an oversized crop top from Urban Outfitters and has a gorgeous geometric cut out back. I would wear it every day if I could. I'll try to find a link to it on the UO website because I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!

xoxo

birthday & video

2011-02-18T10:23:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday! I'm officially 19 and for once I actually kind of feel like the age I'm turning.

I've treated myself to some fruit and a poppyseed lemon cookie this morning before I have to go take my World Literature exam (I know, awful timing, right?) but after I finish it I am FREE! I'm going to go home for the weekend and spend time with my family and our new kitty that my sister brought home! I am beyond excited! And I am even more excited to bring home the boxset of the three Lord of the Rings extended editions that my boyfriend got me for my birthday!
BEST PRESENT EVER!

Also, the other night I finally filmed & edited a new outfit video for my new little youtube experiment so have a watch if you are interested!

xoxo

stripes & florals

2011-02-09T17:38:00.000-08:00

left to right: black floral tunic (Forever 21), black and cream striped top with crocheted back & shoulders details (Forever 21), oatmeal lace crop top (Forever 21), ruffled navy and cream top (Target), and floral burnout tank with back zipper detail (Urban Outfitters)

Here's a little mish-mosh of photos. The top one is an assortment of tops I bought over winter break and adore adore ADORE (particularly the pink & black floral bodycon tunic as evidenced by the heaploads of photobooth entries I have wearing it).

Moving back to my lovely San Francisco has been amazing so far. I am so glad to be back. This past weekend my friends and I ventured to Dolores Park and basked in the hot sunlight amidst the hipsters, dogs and wafts of weed and sounds of makeshift DJ stands. After perusing around the lawns we tried a tea shop in Castro and I had the best jasmine lemonade tea I have ever tasted. It smelled literally like a jasmine blossom and was so refreshing. We're definitely stopping by again!

In the photos I'm wearing an absolutely DARLING little white dress with an owl pattern. I stopped by Buffalo Exchange on Haight St. to attempt to sell some old clothes despite their pretentious pickiness (only made about 25 bucks but still...) and saw the dress on the rack and stopped in my tracks. OWLS? I freaking adore owls, you have no idea. I know it's sort of a cliche thing to like since they're constantly used in jewelry and things but I still love them! I could not believe my luck that it was in my size and fit pretty much perfectly, if only a tad short. Even my friend who was with me said, "This has your name engrained into it's stitching, GET IT!" And believe me, I practically skipped to the register. I just want to wear it every day of my life. It's definitely going to be one of my three Coachella outfits for this year (which I am AMAZINGLY lucky to have gotten tickets for, by the way! sold out in SIX days. craziness, yo).

...Okay well anyway, I just realized I basically just spent an entire paragraph professing my love for a piece of fabric so I think we shall move on now before I really lose it! Here are the photos from my lovely lovely weekend:

I plan to photograph some more of my clothing and maybe film another style video soon so once again, look out for more :)

xoxo

2011-01-31T21:45:00.003-08:00

I made a short video today that details my "outfit of the day". I'm back in my dorm in San Francisco so I only have access to my webcam so the quality isn't the best but I was bored and overly caffeinated. I suppose I'm kind of experimenting with mediums and I decided to try out the youtube thang.

Also, I've gone thrifting and shopping tons over the last month so expect a new post with all of my new additions soon!

xoxo

2011-01-02T16:41:00.000-08:00

I've been home for the holidays, which means I'm surrounded by wonderful rural fields and copious amounts of space and fresh air. It's such a nice break from the crowded streets of San Francisco.

I drove up to the nearby lake with my boyfriend to take photos and revel in the beautiful scenery. Browned foliage and overcast skies are a quintessential part of a northern California winter. Everything is calm and dormant, I pretty much adore it.

And since he has a grade-A (at least compared to what I usually have to work with) camera, I acted as his "model" (ha-ha) and he shot some amazing photos of me. I decided to share my outfit on here, and I'm contemplating posting this on LookBook too. Enjoy :)

(dress - Forever 21, cardigan - Goodwill, tights - Target, boots - Urban Outfitters)

xoxo

boots galore

2010-12-26T19:28:00.000-08:00

brown: We Who See Fringe Boot - Urban Outfitters ($78)
black: Xhileration Lace-Up Boot - Target ($30)

I got these two pairs of boots for Christmas, and I am in fake leather heaven.

The brown ones are my treasured babies, as they were obviously fairly expensive (for me, anyway), but worth every penny! I adore them so much and worship their soles down to every stitch. I am stuck between wanting to wear them every minute and not wanting to ruin them in the outdoors.

The black, on the other hand, were a cheap impulse buy. I plan on wearing the bageezuz out of them, using them as more of an all purpose winter-trudge-in-fields-and-rain kind of boot that I don't have to worry about ruining. But I love them just the same!

I just adore the chunky, yet lean look of these midcalf lace-up boots that have been everywhere over the last few months. I spent so long looking up different styles online and finally settled on the UO pair! They are such an interesting hybrid of the more masculine combat boot cut and a gentle Victorian lady's boot, with that added twist of a vintage rodeo boot on top of it all. I really just cannot get over my love of them.

I'm going to try to keep photorgraphing all my [interesting] finds and buys and perhaps revamp my lookbook? who knows! but keep an eye out

xoxo

wardrobe update

2010-12-17T20:08:00.000-08:00

I'm fairly certain that this blog is just going to be about fashion from now on, because everything else I care about happens on tumblr. so yes, it is officially decided!

As I've been living in San Francisco for the last four months, my personal style has inevitably evolved. There's so many good thrifting opportunities and effortlessly stylish people walking around hip urban settings that it's almost impossible not to try to catch up. And oh, have I!

I've spent a good amount of time, effort and dollars on fashion since I've been here so I thought I'd share a bit. These are just a few select items that I felt like sharing. There's a good mix of new & thrifted items in here...

(tan leather belt - thrifted)

(tortoiseshell sunglasses - Urban Outfitters)

(embellished gold locked necklace - H&M)

(assorted leather cuffs - SF Zoo & campus bazaar)

(golden animal ring set - H&M)
(semi-precious stone ring, golden woven ring, flower ring - campus bazaar, elephant ring - New York city via my boyfriend)

(cognac oxfords - K-Mart $13)

(red cardigan - thrifted $2, gray & white shawl sweater - Forever 21)

(high-wiasted Levi's denim shorts - thrfited, high waisted black denim shorts - thrifted)

(native-inspired printed tank - H&M)

(light denim button down - Thrift Town, SF Mission district)

- - -

I hope you enjoyed this little taste of my personal style. I hope I can update more and keep this going, because fashion really is something I love and take great care and effort in (I kid you not, I spent an entire day researching lace-up boots the other day). Lately, sharing my ideas and opinions has become more and more appealing to me. I read so many fashion blogs and watch videos and I love seeing what other people do and how they make outfits. That probably sounds lame and self-indulgent/self-centered/etc. to a lot of people, but it genuinely interests me. So I'm going with it. Huzzah!

xoxo

fashion frenzy

2010-07-05T13:36:00.000-07:00

So I really like fashion.

I am an addict of browsing Lookbook and style blogs. I can't help it. Clothes make me happy. I don't so much like high fashion or keeping up with legitimate labels or brands, and browsing Vogue holds little interest to me past the photographic aspect. But I can never get enough of street style! I love finding new ideas of how to put old and new pieces of my wardrobe together, finding inspiration from someone I see at the mall or walking down the street.

This all leads to me wanting to be more active in sharing what I'm wearing, mostly on this blog! I went shopping the other day and picked up some new additions.

The main coax in leading me to go shopping was that Urban Outfitters was having a massive sale this week. Usually their "sales" are only alright, with nothing too great marked down (I swear I would wear everything in that store but its too damn pricey for my current income-less existence) but I somehow managed to pick out some great finds for decent prices.

I'm in love with this skirt. It was on sale for about $20 and I was so stoked when I dug it out of the sale rack. The fabric is lovely as well as the print and though you can't really tell from the photo, it has this lovely little ruched, bubble shape to it. I've been looking for a lighter floral printed skirt for awhile and this one finally made the cut.

This was a last minute find. It's a sort of tanktop/tunic type thing (it goes down past my hips!) and was the last one on the sale rack and miraculously my size (also only $9.99?!!) I love the print and unusual color and I ADORE the back. I'm not sure if you can tell from the photo, but the entire back is lace. It's a daring purchase for me and a bit too out there for a normal day out in my town, but paired with black high waisted shorts or skirt I'm sure I'll be able to pull it off for a day in the city.

The accessory sale was surprinsingly good, too. The necklace was only $9.99 (which is pretty inexpensive for UO, trust me) and I love it. Chuncky but very simple. And that opaque green nail polish was only .99 cents!! Definitely couldn't pass it up.

After UO, I popped over to Forever 21 to take a look around because I am a girl and cannot resist plethoras of clothes at reasonable prices.

I was thrilled to find this dress for only about $13. The skirt portion is skin tight and very sharp looking and I love it paired with the baggy white tank. I like how this can be dressed up or down, night or day depending on what I want to do with it.

I bought this tank mainly for the back. It's knotted into a racerback shape and drops down and has this lazy, DIY feel to it. And I do love the Native American-inspired design on the front!

I couldn't pass up another floral skirt. This one is tiered and flouncy and adorable! Definitely a keeper.

I also have been needing a new wallet so I found this adorable little one at F21 too. Only 8 bucks! (can you tell I like floral?)

So that was my successful shopping spree! I want to start posting more lookbook/outfit posts now so hopefully that will keep this blog alive. I now have some cleaning to do.

43 days until I leave for college!

xoxo

innermost musings?

2010-06-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

Today I was going through some of my old journal entries from when I was about 9-11 years old today and I've realized just how geeky and awkward I was as a child. Every other page is either profusely expressing my love for Harry Potter and Neopets or else explaining the innermost intricacies of my overflowing depth with frequent musings such as, "I'm bored," or "I was listening to Justin Timberlake today." Yeah. Like I said, depth.

My entries were very sparse and far between and at one point skips two years. I guess I was just never the journal keeping type? I wish I had the dedication to remember to document all my thoughts in a more productive way then just tumblr. Which is why I am surprised at myself for buying a moleskin recently. And I've actually been pretty good at filling it up with things. Not so much in the way of words, but more like little notes and sketches. I'm actually really really liking it. This is mostly because I started following "fuckyeahmoleskinart" on tumblr and found the lovely LLYMLRS on Lookbook/Blogspot and both outlets have inspired me to document more of my daily imaginings. Hopefully I keep up the habbit because as we've seen with my journal and this blog, sometimes I'm hard pressed to keep up with a creative outlet. But I'm going to really try to!

I was writing out a list of all the books that I'm taking with me to college in my journal today and it got me thinking...something about college combined with a fresh moleskin makes me really exhilarated. I love the idea that I get to start fresh this coming year. Now that I've defined myself and know at least half well what I'd like to do with my career, I think its going to be a turning point for me. I can't wait to explore the city and the Fine Arts building at SFSU. I am unbelievably excited. But it's very strange to think that college is finally almost here. Now that I have a roommate set up and bedsheets picked out, it seems REAL. Even though I'm a tad intimidated by the idea of living in a big city and making friends with strangers and figuring out bus schedules and holding my own in college classes and having to manage finances and be a GROWN UP...I'm so ready. I really feel like I've been ready my whole senior year. Something about this past year was just off with me. I had a lot of fun with my friends and I don't regret the time I got to spend with everyone, but I felt disconnected the whole time. I knew I was going to San Francisco and I knew what I was going to do so my mind was constantly in the future. And its hard to want to stay in my small town at times. Although it has gorgeous farmland and picturesque views, I really feel like I belong in the city. At least for now. Every time I visit San Francisco I'm reminded of just how much I fit in and how much I love it. Especially at SFSU. Looking around at the people who go there and meeting people through the facebook group for incoming freshmen, I seem to have so much in common with everyone. Which is a LOT more than can be said about my fellow classmates in high school. But oh well, what can you do. I was a bit of a lone reed (props if you get the chick flick ref?) but alls well now. Everyone finds their niche eventually and I think I've found mine. As my old biology teacher said, "San Francisco is like my happy place."

Anyways, I'm going to go watch me some Skins now, so I leave you with:

recently:
read: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
-I haven't finished it yet but so far I love it. I've been meaning to read it for awhile (ever since I saw Everything Is Illuminated years ago and learned that it was based on a book and that Jonathan had written other books blah blah blah) I love the style it's written in. I'm going to aim to work on finishing it soon.
listened to: Tokyo Police Club's new album Champ
-oh my Canada, these boys have done it again. I've always had a special spot in my little heart for this band. Something about their melodies and lyrics stands out to me more than other bands. And I am so happy that their new album lives up and given time I'm sure their lyrics and songs will hold the same meaning to me as their old ones. (favorites off the album: Bambi, Favorite Color)
traveled to: DISNEYLAND. Best three days of the summer for sure. AND WORLD OF COLOR WAS FREAKING PHENOMENAL HOLY CRAP.
wore: I actually posted a legitimate look on my lookbook. go see!

LIES lies all of it

2010-05-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

It seems I lied when I said a "legitimate" blog post was coming "soon".
So much has been going on in the last month or so. I could say I haven't had "time" to blog but that wouldn't really be true. I've had copious amounts of time to blog. But I've neglected this blog for things like tumblr and IRL activities. I know, I know. LAME EXCUSES FROM GEN VERSION 2.0

But seriously folks. Lately in my life, I've gone to Coachella, taken my last ever AP exams, gotten pneumonia, won best in show at my school's art fair, and I leave for Disneyland in two weeks and GRADUATE FREAKING HIGH SCHOOL in four.

I can't believe it either.
I'm just trying to stay afloat in all this madness.
Life is swooshing by like a [insert interesting metaphor here]

So anyway,
to end this meager slice of bloggin' pie, I leave you with some 'recently':

recently:
read: Varieties of the Scientific Experience: A Personal View of the Search For God by Carl Sagan
-This book has once again reaffirmed in my mind that Dr. Sagan was (and remains to be) a GENIUS. He writes so eloquently and but at the same time his writing is astonishingly readable and enjoyable for casual reading. And I think he brings up enormously poignant and legitiate arguments, most of which I agree with and have helped me form my own views. I want to absorb everything he has said/written ever, which is good considering I also bought Cosmos the same day I bought this book.
watched: The Lovely Bones
-I was very disappointed. And not necessarily because it strays away from the novel. That I could mind. But as a film it was seriously lacking. The flow was choppy and incoherent and in my own little amateur opinion, there were script issues. There were good moments though (Tucci's acting was disturbingly good and Susie and the Grandma were amazazing) but overall it was a big...MEH.
listened to: When I'm Small - Phantogram
-ADDICTED. enough said.

JK Rowling

2010-04-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

For one of my local college scholarships, I had to write an essay on who has inspired me most in my life. I chose JK Rowling. I thought it might be nice to share it here :)

*PS: a legitimate blog post is coming soon, complete with anecdotes, recently lists, self reflections and even photos! OH JOY! Anyway.

---

PERSONAL ESSAY:

Joanne Rowling, better known to the world as JK Rowling, author of the phenomenally popular Harry Potter series, has been an undeniable inspiration in my life. She has been a key part of my life since I was seven years old, over ten years ago. Her inspiration, apart from the obvious influence of her novels, has touched me on many levels and her story still motivates me to this day.

JK Rowling came into my life when I was just seven years old. That was the age when I first picked up a Harry Potter novel. Being so young, I initially had my mother read the first two novels of the series to me as a sort of bedtime routine, but as I grew up and developed my love for reading, I started to read them obsessively on my own. I had never before experienced such a detailed, beautifully written book that wholly captivated my imagination and heart. As the years passed, I enthusiastically gobbled up each novel as they were released and much of my imagination revolved around Harry’s world. I would write stories of my own that connected to JK Rowling’s world, I would search the internet for news and hints about the upcoming novels , draw my own illustrations of things described in the books, attend midnight releases for the novels and subsequent films. Harry Potter even led to me bonding with friends at school who also loved the books and films, and many of those friendships have lasted to this day.

My life was enveloped by Harry Potter, and the series is what ignited my love for stories themselves, and I attribute my current love for reading and writing to the presence of Harry Potter in my life. I’m not sure I would have read nearly as much as I do now had it not been for Harry Potter igniting that initial spark for reading over ten years ago. Had it not been for this story, I might not have the deep appreciation for the human imagination that I have today that keeps me passionate about art, literature and stories.

Apart from the novels themselves being a very essential influence on my life, I think the thing that has most inspired my aspirations in life has been the story of JK Rowling herself. I remember that as I developed my love for Harry Potter, I began to look up biographies on JK Rowling to get a better idea of the person who was giving the world this wonderful and imaginative world. I learned that she had written Harry Potter during a particularly difficult time in her life. She was very poor, living off welfare in a small run-down apartment, trying to raise her daughter as a single mother. She had nothing and no one to rely on and was very lonely. But still she pursued her passion for story-telling, despite the very small chance that she would succeed. She continued writing Harry’s story until she finally got the courage to try to publish her story. It was a struggle still to get her story picked up by a publisher, as ironic as that might sound now. But she persevered until it finally was published. And from there we all are quite aware that the book’s popularity grew enormously to the point of an international phenomenon, and she now is a household figure who is definitely no longer struggling for money as she once did.

What has struck me most about her story is her determination despite all odds. To me, that is a quality that speaks true to my future goals. My passion has always been art and creation, ever since I became so enraptured with fantastical worlds like Harry’s. Creating worlds and stories through visual mediums, be it if I work as a conceptual artist for films or as an illustrator for stories of my own, is what I am determined to make a career out of. But this is an unconventional career path that is not known for being particularly successful and financially stable. But it is what I want to do more than anything in the world, and I will continue to pursue it no matter what. And Jo’s example, though extremely lucky and exceptional, has been a driving force in my passion ever since I heard it for myself. Her story has showed me that even if you come from the humblest of beginning and have nothing to your name but an imagination and talent, there is no limit to what you can achieve. As cliché and idealist as that might sound, it is something I believe is essential and true. Her overcoming of odds by using her imagination and passion is an inspiration to people like me, who plan to follow in her footsteps and use my own creativity to my advantage. She has showed me the importance of staying motivated in your convictions and passions, and to never give up on your dreams. Though I have a long way to go before I am anywhere near as successful as her, I believe that if I stay passionate and determined through all challenges as she did, I will be able to overcome any hurdle and make my mark on the world.

what i did today

2010-03-15T20:42:00.001-07:00

(Kaya Scodelario)

* EDIT: here's the finished version:

creativity challenge: update

2010-02-28T22:48:00.000-08:00

So far so good on my vow of daily creativity!

Mostly I've been sketching, painting and drawing to fill up my daily quota but I'm going to try to incorporate more photography (I just finally got a lookbook after all!) writing and filming, too.
So far, I've:
-finished a painting (it's a present for Brendan, for our 1 year so I cannot reveal the subject here)
-finished a pastel portrait (posted on deviantArt under 'little blue')
-started a pencil portrait of Kaya Scodelario
-planned out a painting of The Little Mermaid for my sister's birthday present (shh don't tell)
- and I still have my painting I'm working on at school for my art studio class

I think having written my creativity-promise on this blog, it makes it more official and I feel more obligated to do it, oddly enough (even though like, two people read this blog anyway)...there's a slightly absurd pressure associated with actually writing out goals, you know? Like now that it exists tangibly in some form, I will be ashamed if I don't follow through. It's a slightly silly thought, but effective nonetheless!

On another note: it was sunny today so I went for a 4 mile run with my sister around town (and while I say that casually, I assure you I'm TIRED) and the blossoms are really starting to come out now. I could just SMELL SPRINGTIME which I love. Sun and spring in itself make me more excited about everything. I just want to go outside and walk around and enjoy my day instead of staying holed up inside, wasting the daylight hours.

It also makes me excited about fashion because springtime/early summer is my favorite time for clothes. I lvoe floral dresses and sandals and light sweaters and...and...everything. I can't wait to go thrifting on Friday with Brendan to find some cheap and unique springy things!

<3

recently:
watched: I Heart Huckabees
-This is one of the zaniest, funniest movies I've seen in a while and I really liked it. Jude Law is fantastic and my god, it made me adore Jason Schwartzman even more if that were possible. I really liked the light tone it had despite the deep existential questioning it addressed. All in all, a great film that I recommend!
listened to: Another Sun by Malakai
-I've had this song on my ipod forever (I think it was on a LSTN download?) but I relistened to it today and remembered how much I loved it.
and Tonight by Smith Westerns
-I love their lo-fi sound and their studio recordings are ALMOST as good as seeing them live was.

xoxo

2010-02-24T14:59:00.000-08:00

I have spontaneously decided to set a daily goal for myself. and that is to be directly creative in some way every day, no exceptions. Be it drawing, sketching, painting, collaging, filming/editing video or writing for my long-since-forgotton Nanowrimo "novel"...I have to do SOMETHING. I've been wasting so much time online or lazing around my room after school lately. I need a turn around!

all for now,
<3

of baths birthdays and frogs

2010-02-16T18:30:00.000-08:00

So, it's Tuesday and my eighteenth birthday is in TWO days. Whaat? I'm slightly not ready. Even though every year, it usually takes a couple months for my new age to really set in, I'm still feeling very much like a seventeen year old. And to be honest, I'm not ready to let this age go yet! Seventeen was probably one of the best years of my life. So much happened, so much changed and I had so many firsts. How can 18 possibly live up to that? But maybe I'll just take it in strides? Sigh.

In other news,
today was hot. I mean, not nearly as hot as it gets in the summer. But definitely warm. And cloudless. And blue. And clear. And it smelled like SPRINGTIME outside. I was on a run around the neighborhood and I caught the distinct wafts of blossoms, grass and general non-winter-ness. I cannot fully express how giddy this makes me.
I have a very hard time surviving winter without frustration and longing for sunshine. And I don't even live where it snows or gets colder than what, like 35 degrees? But this January was torture, it rained so much. And February has been mostly the same. The only reason I usually tolerate February is for its shortness and abundance of birthdays! Mine, three of my friends and at least four of my relatives. I always love a good birthday party! (Which reminds me...I have no idea what I'm doing for mine?)

I count down to spring/summer once the new year hits. This winter, I've been going particularly insane stuck inside and compiled a playlist of summer songs in preparation for the months of heat to come. I know, typical me. Making playlists for therapy! If you're interested, I'll attach the list to the end of this post.*

So I have an anecdote I've been dying to share somewhere.
It involves baths. And frogs.
I love baths. I take them whenever I have the time & energy (is that not just the laziest thing in the world? Being too lazy to take a BATH?) I love me a good basin full of hot H2O, some tunes playing on the iHome, bubbles and I even throw in a cute little rubber ducky when I feel like it. It's the epitome of leisure to me.

So this one particular instance, I was laying there in the steaming water, just thinking and soaking. And I recalled this one time when my sister told me that to kill a frog, you must first place them in a pot of water and slowly heat it up, because if you try putting the frog directly in boiling water it will, quite logically on the frog's part, jump out immediately. Now I have no idea if this in fact true but laying there in the tub, I thought how much this was true about me, sans the...death part.

You see, when I take a bath, I lay in the tub as it is filling up with very hot water. If I do it the other way, letting it fill up and then stepping in, I can't stand the heat. I don't know why its different but it is. It's my process. For example, this one time I turned on the tap and was about to step in as usual, but I got distracted with finding a good song on my ipod and by the time I walked back to the tub, it was half full. So I dipped my toe in and retracted it instantly in horror as my poor little curled toes stung and turned bright red. Yeah. So not gonna happen. So I was forced to combat the hot water by turning the tap to the blue side, adding more cool water and slushing it around to try to neutralize the heat, which really didn't work at all. Now the bath water was an awkward, uncomfortable mix of both. So I gave up, drained it and showered instead. Patience is my virtue, yeah?
Yeah. I think the moral of this story if that I am a frog (my Animagus, perhaps?) and if you want to boil me alive, do it gradually!

I've decided to attach a fun little segment on the end of my blogs now, entitled:

recently:
read: The Devil's Highway by Luis Alberto Urrea
-This book was every bit as riveting and affecting as I expected. We were reading it in my AP Language class, and I have to admit that it's the first book in a while that I've read completely without any "ahem* "summary resources"...*coughSPARKNOTEScough* I definitely recommend it to anyone interested in the US immigration conflict.
watched: Food, Inc.
-This documentary has made me consider vegetarianism more seriously than I had before. And has made me want to boycott supermarkets and live exclusively off my own grown crops from a personal garden...neither of which will probably actually happen but STILL.
listened to: Go Do by Jonsi
-I adore Sigur Ros and am ecstatic Jonsi's solo act is living up.
and Lover's Carving by Bibio
-I cannot express how much I love this song. There's something so whimsical easygoing and sunny about it.
created: three new artworks! see them here!

*my summer/spring/sunshine playlist is as follows:

golden skies =
Summertime // Girls
Suicide // The Raveonettes
When I'm With You // Best Coast
Summertime Clothes // Animal Collective
Unforgettable Season // Cut Copy
Lessons Learned // Matt & Kim
Pulling Our Weight // The Radio Dept.
Lust For Life // Girls
Young Adult Friction // The Pains of Being Pure At Heart
Your English Is Good // Tokyo Police Club
Two Weeks // Grizzly Bear
Edge of the Ocean (Duotone remix) // Ivy

coastal brake

2010-01-06T00:02:00.000-08:00

I cannot get Tyhco's new single, 'Coastal Brake' out of my mind. I loved Tycho before but now...ahh. It has enveloped me.

...have a listen:

Coastal Brake - Tycho

finals for a senior

2009-12-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

So today I got up at six in the morning (per usual) pulled on some clothes and straightened up my hair and begrudgingly got myself to school by 7:30. It's the start of finals week and today's scheduled finals were periods 0, 5 & 6. Being the privileged senior that I so gloatingly am, I'm only taking 0-4 this year, so I only had 0 period to go to today. And it was Yearbook. Meaning our "final" was to watch Finding Nemo while eating muffins and pineapple shikabobs. I'm telling you, hardest final ever. For serious.

So once the examination period ended at 9, I rushed to my car and went home, pulled back on my pajamas and crawled back into my lovely bed. Somewhere in my slumber my dog joined me and took over 3/4 of the mattress. When I awoke it was 2:30. TWO THIRTY. Totally did not intend to sleep that long at all! But let me tell you, I am REFRESHED.

So once I got myself out fo bed, dog in tow, my sister and I watched the first bit of the first Lord of the Rings while we ate lunch (cranberry, ham, cream cheese & spinach wrap = best lunch ever). We got to about Rivendell before we decided to go for a run.

3 miles later, we got home and I spent the next two hours watching my two netflix Skins DVDs on the newly fixed laptop in my bed, snunggled and sore from running.

Now, as I'm checking my daily online sites, I'm planning on making myself some pancakes and finally getting around to studying for my AP Gov final tomorrow.

This is the most randomly structured day I've ever had.

Update

2009-12-14T20:28:00.000-08:00

Hello green walls!
I painted my room's walls a lovely olive green (a bit less bright than it appears in the picture) and moved myself back in over the last couple weeks. I am finally getting to the "pin everything back up and make new wall-collages" stage. As you can see my ancient HP poster is back at home among my postcards and NYLON cutouts.
Wall collages are an inevitable and vital part of my room, you know?

Anyway. This weekend I went to San Francisco again. It was a friend's birthday party for the weekend and I got to frolic around the downtown area and the mall a bit. I was very tempted to spend money I got babysitting a week ago (me? I know, right) at Urban or H&M but I refrained! I am trying desperately to save money for Christmas.

It was rainy and objectively gloomy on Saturday but I didn't care, I think the fog and gloom makes San Francisco all the more beautiful. I got soaked but such is the consequence of avoiding umbrellas.

And I went to South SF for the first time on Sunday! It was slightly boring and corporate (at least where we were) but at least I know what's there now!

I still have the overwhelming feeling of love for that city every time I visit. I just love walking the streets, especially the residential area around the apartment. I love the feeling of being completely anonymous.It's a sensation unique to city life. There's something special and exciting about that after living in a small town your entire life. I cannot wait to live there next year. Even though I applied to various schools in the Northern California area, I still always seem to gravitate back to SF. I'm already decided on going to school there in my mind, though acceptance letters won't be sent out until spring. Whether I'll be at the Academy of Art of SF State? Only time will tell, as they say in books & literature!

Anyway, besides my adventures in the city this weekend, I finished THIS:
she's a phoenix lady! whoo. I love Art Studio :)

Oh and finals start Wednesday. Thus I should get started you know, studying. And stuff.
Wish me luck?

garden's eye view.

2009-12-01T15:40:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jln_AIfQceQ

my new video. just a little garden love.

Hello December!

2009-12-01T15:15:00.000-08:00

So far it has been warmer in December than it was in November. Ironic, yes? I don't really mind to be honest, though. I was never one for this silly ice-on-my-windshield-in-the-morning business and feet-frozen-perpetually. Winter is not my favorite season to be in. I love the look of fall/winter (which is pretty much the same where I live) but actually having to wear things like SOCKS and LAYERS is an alien concept to me. Sigh. I am a California girl through and through.

I'm going with my mom to Target today to buy gloves and maybe a scarf of two. AAAANDDD I'm painting my walls this weekend! FINALLY. I cannot properly form in words the satisfaction I will feel when the chartreuse and magenta pre-teen abomination on my walls is covered once and for all! I cannot wait for olive green to take its place! I'm going for a shade slightly akin to this:

When I was browsing WeHeartIt.com for decoration inspiration and came across this photo, I nearly had an aneurysm because of how perfect the color was. And how that girl looks a bit like me. AND SHE HAS A MAC. I thought I was seeing into my future!

Anyway, to prepare for my little room makeover, this weekend I threw away tons of junk from my room. Old jewelry, old hot pink nick knacks and picture frames, miscellaneous junk from my middle school days....just anything that screamed "I bought this when I was thirteen and really into Hollister, powerpop and America's Next Top Model!" shudder. And this is a big thing for me, because I'm kind of a pack rat. I'm the type of person that instead of throwing away something, I horde it just incase it MIGHT be useful in some conceivable way in the future. So clearing out my room is a BIG thing, ladies and gentlemen.

But last night, I finished taking down everything off my walls. It was kind of sad because the last thing I took down was this photo collage I've had up since I was probably 14 years old. I still stop and stare at my blank walls every time I go into my room. It's WEIRD, YO.

Anyway, I'm so stoked to start redecorating my room. I'm going to post pictures when it's done!!

Tootloo for now :]

college aps + school + social life + procrastination = NaNoFAIL

2009-11-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

So I pretty much gave up on NaNoWriMo 10,000 words in. I'M SO ASHAMED.
I feel so bad because I was SO motivated to do it in the beginning and I was determined reach that coveted fifty k mark, but I was just too damn busy. Seriously, that's not even an excuse for procrastination and lameness (though those two did factor in a bit, I'll admit ;P) I feel good about my 10k that were written, though! I have come to really love the story I've opened up for myself and I think I'll continue it even when NaNaWriMo is over. It'll be more a pastime type deal, but I've been wanting to get back in that random-writing hobby that I had in elementary/middle school that disintegrated with the arrival of high school. I just don't have TIME now.

But anyway, because I am very proud of my personal statement (the main culprit of my NaNoFAIL!) I'm going to share it here. I still need to finish the second prompt (yes, UC's gave us the unique torture of calling a category "personal statement" when in fact there are TWO required, so it SHOULD be called your personal statementS) Sigh. Anyway here it is:

My passion for creation and art has influenced almost every aspect of my life. It manifests itself into every piece of my life, every challenge I meet and every obstacle I face. I consider every day a new opportunity for creation and my imagination is never cast aside, but rather used to my advantage. It is both my outlet and my ally in everything that I do. Art and the inevitable creativity that goes along with it appear in all elements of my actions, thoughts and self. It is ingrained in my nature, in every drawing I compose, every picture I paint, and every essay I write. It shows up in obvious ways but also the subtle areas, working it’s way into my mind as I pick out an outfit in the morning, consider how best to arrange my bedroom, and even is used in such small tasks as deciding the most aesthetically pleasing way of applying make-up. I consider it an intrinsic and vital part of my process of thinking, the best way I’ve ever learned to accomplish tasks. Every problem that I solve requires that imperative ounce of creativity, and through all my experiences, I’ve been able to recognize that my specific way of resolving and deciphering uses creativity and imagination above all else. Any artistic perspective that can be taken is the one I choose, by nature and by choice. And having come to this resolution and discovery, I’ve decided to apply my love of artistic creativity to my future. My talent not only for the technique of art but also the creativity that accompanies it is what has led me to pursue my passion as a career. Being merely seventeen years old, I consider myself extremely lucky to have identified my passion and talent so early on. And this motivation to pursue creativity through art in school is something that I would have never fully realized without attending California State Summer School for the Arts in the summer of 2008. This month long program, where five hundred teenagers from all over the world were selected to be pushed to their creative extremes through long hours of class and studio work, was my starting line into the world of creativity that I now consider myself a part of. It reconfirmed my love and passion for art and substantiated its essential presence in my life. California State Summer School for the Arts not only showed me that I held an insatiable love for art in practice, but taught me something about myself. I learned that having a talent for art extends much farther than the tangible way of being able to draw well or observe a figure accurately. To be successful in both the field of art and a life of creativity itself, you must live and breathe imagination and passion, down to every last detail of your life. The idea of creativity is not limited to your sketch pad, drawing class or painting technique, as I came to learn through spending weeks being drowned in an environment devoted exclusively to art. I saw that my enthusiasm for creativity extended much farther than just in art alone. I learned that creativity motivates me in everything I do, weaves itself into every piece of myself and my life. Every challenge that I take on is in the name of creativity and imagination. It is my motivation to rise above the wave of normalcy and exceed in everything I am handed, in everything that I do, whether in school, work or society. Imagination and the artistic perspective is what drives me to distinguish myself as a unique individual among the ones who avoid going against the grain and show the world that my passion, imagination and creativity is a spark inside that can never be extinguished.

NaNoWriMo

2009-11-02T16:47:00.001-08:00

So I just decided I'm doing NanoWriMo.
Two days late.
During college application month.
With hardly a skeleton plan of what the heck I'm going to write about.
Meaning I have approximately 233 words done.
...only 49,767 words to go!

am I insane?

...Happy writing!

fall fashion + more

2009-10-28T17:38:00.000-07:00

So I had another LookBook binge. Here are my favorites:

all hallow's eve!

2009-10-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

Halloween!
It's only a few days away. I really can't wait. I have my sailor costume ready (Zooey Deschanel inspired, thank you very much) my pumpkin is bought and ready to be carved, my Halloween playlist is set up on my computer....it's all in motion. Now all I need is a place to go (my plans still aren't set in stone. EEEK.) but I'm READY.

I've always adored Halloween. It's my favorite part of autumn. Being the dress-up obsessed child-at-heart I am, any excuse to wear costumes and act silly is a good excuse. I just really adore the culture of Halloween in general...the bright oranges and reds, the pumpkins, the corny "scary" decorations outside of houses, the haunted houses, the trick-or-treating, the CANDY, the movies, the scary stories, the costumes...it all makes me giddy. Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. Even above Christmas (maybe).

And when you think about it, the thing that really sets Halloween apart is it's versatility.
I mean, think about it:

When you're little, you get to dress up in any costume you could dream of, and go around to extravagantly decorated houses where adult strangers in silly costumes give you CANDY and it's socially accepted and A-OKAY! What else could a seven year old ever want?
Now once you're teenaged, let's say, you dress up and eat candy and this time you can go out and have reckless fun with your friends on the ONE night it's not frowned upon to do.
And then when you're an adult, Halloween becomes the ONE night of the year where you have a legitimate excuse to dress up like a child would and eat massive amounts of candy without looking like some cosplay-obsessed diabetic.
WHAT MORE COULD THE WORLD WANT?

le cinema

2009-10-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

So currently, I'm in the middle of watching The Fall...And I think I'm in love. I haven't finished it (I started it pretty late last night and got tired so, to prevent spoiling it's full movie-watching effect with sleepiness, took a rain-check) but what I saw, I adored. The directing so far has really impressed me...I love the dynamic between Lee Pace and Alexandria. I really like that little girl. She is adorable. And just the filming in general of the movie is so beautiful. The opening shots and credits even impressed me. And the LOCATIONS. Oh god, the locations. The orange sand desert? the butterfly island? the palace? They were stunning. This makes me so much more excited for Where The Wild Things Are, knowing Spike Jonze "presented" (whatever that means) The Fall and directed WTWTA.

I've also been browsing Netflix's Instant Watch feature, going through some movies. Tooooo much. They've sucked away all my time. I've been extremely lazy and sleep deprived lately so I've watched far too many movie for my own good.

I watched We Are Wizards (Harry Potter documentary that was very different than what I was expecting but I liked it) an indie film called Teeth (fucking ridiculous movie. I am still bewildered by it) and Paris, Je T'aime. I originally watched this film because I felt like I HAD to before seeing NY, I Love You. And I loved it! My favorite shorts were the Coen Brothers piece, the Elijah Wood and the vampire one, the one with the blind man and Natalie Portman, and the one with Sophie and the man with the guitar...they were all unique but connected. I really liked them.

And since I have been so into movies lately, it's got me thinking of the fucking AMAZING movie season I have ahead of me. I'm looking forward to:

Where The Wild Things Are
New York, I Love You
Cold Souls
Babies
The Fantasic Mr. Fox
New Moon [I can't even lie. I'm going to see it.]
The Lovely Bones
The Princess and the Frog

....aaaaaand I'm sure others will pop up in the coming months that I can look forward to but for now, I'm counting down until those :) any recommendations to keep me occupied?

true story:

2009-09-30T13:21:00.000-07:00

It was a Friday night in the city. The fog hung low over the towering buildings, but the energy in the atmosphere was anything but gloomy. We walked, hand in hand, to the Fillmore's doors, eagerly handing our tickets to the doormen. As we entered, you grabbed an apple from the pile at the foot of the crimson staircase and thanked the old, content greeter. I rolled my eyes as you took my hand and we ascended the stairs.

In the cafe above, there was a lone guitarist crooning out some melancholy poetry over loud amps. The people sitting around sipped their drinks calmly, conversing and anticipating the the start of the concert.

We chose a seat by the window, where I could peek down at the shiny black tour bus on the street below, and gaze over the gray concrete landscape of the city.
You ordered a salad from the bar, while I sat in awe of the plethora of posters, records and photos that adorned the high ceiling-ed room. I bubbled with excitement for the concert, the fresh feeling of a new place and a new artist on my mind.

When the colossal plate of vegetables arrived, we gobbled down the tofu and tomatoes, wondering which songs our dear Jenny would open with and whether Jonathon Rice would be wearing tie-dye...again.

I smiled as we talked and ate, peering once more out the Fillmore's window, knowing in that moment that there was no where else I'd rather be.

soaked inspiration

2009-09-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

Alice // Cocteau Twins
Cologne Cerrone Houdini // Goldfrapp
Chromakey Dreamcoat // Boards of Canada
X & Y // Coldplay
Past is Prologue // Tycho
Sang Real // Dredg
Phone Call // Jon Brion
Porcelain // Moby
Closing In // Imogen Heap

2009-09-16T19:36:00.000-07:00

I took this photo today. It wasn't even a serious one. It was literally the last of tens that I had been fooling around taking before. and it's my favorite. I don't know why, but I look older. Like, this is my new visual defintion of what my senior year / 18 year old year will be like.

nine nine oh nine

2009-09-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not buying The Beatles RockBand. I'm not downloading their songs on iTunes. I'm not staying on my school campus to listen to their songs being played over low-quality amps.

But hey,
I still love The Beatles.

2009-09-07T01:37:00.000-07:00

I think I finally feel like a senior in high school now.
Maybe it's all the free afternoons, the chill classes, the light homework, the new clothes, the better music than last year. I feel older.

I can't wait to go to college though.

(Academy of Arts, SF anyone?)

The Hungry For More Games

2009-09-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

So I finished The Hunger Games a few days ago. My sister bought it for me...after like a month of searching every library in a 20 mile radius, only to discover it was checked out with a long waiting list. This bode well for me because this obviously meant the book was good enough to be checked out widely. I was anticipating a consuming read. And it was...kind of.

I just wanted mooooore. I liked it, don't misunderstand. The whole concept is pretty thought-provoking and has so much potential. But I thought it only skimmed the surface of what it could have been. I was anticpating a grinding tale of desperation and a refelction on human nature and instinct versus compassion and the effects of an oppressive, violent regime over citizens in a post-apocalyptic society....and I got a watered down version :/. Call me optimistic, but I SO was thinking it would have that...and it failed my expectations.

Granted, this was probably because it was aimed at a lower-reading level (I think like early high-school or middle school is the recommended?) so only so much could be covered without losing relation to your average 14-year old.

I just wish this same idea could be published in adult literature! because I want more analysis and deep-delving character development. Oh well. Anyone recommendations of adult books with a similar premise?

Also: I'm kind of upset about how suddenly at the end of the book the front-running issue seemed to be more about the romance triangle thing instead of the looming death of the character in the contest. I feel like this happens too much in YA books with a female lead. Ugh.

I liked the book though. I just didn't adore it as much as everyone else seems to. I needed MORE. Perhaps I'm just growing out of YA novels? :(

kevn carter thesis on life

2009-08-31T22:37:00.001-07:00

class: AP Lang & Comp
assignment: write a brief essay in which you use the above image (photograph by Kevin Carter) to form a "thesis on life"
result:

In life, there are two archetypal characters that all sentient beings within the known world adhere to: the fighter and the forfeiter. These two motivational outlooks in life are polar opposites in essence and nature. Each being, human or otherwise, has within them the innate inclination towards these two points, which is the catalyst to their ultimate surrender or perseverance, fight or forfeit, life or death. These two paradigms are superbly shown in their fundamental form in a moving photograph by Kevin Carter. The photograph shows these two ends of the spectrum successfully with its two main elements: the baby and the bird.

Within the frames of Carter’s image, the bird represents the “fighter” archetype. In the everlasting challenge that is life, the fighter is always alert and ready for opportunity. It is defined by its motivation to succeed in all elements of survival and life. The bird in the photograph exemplifies this attitude perfectly in just its stance alone. It is rigid, awaiting the opportunity that could arise in the actions of the child in the foreground. The child could potentially be any number of benefits to the bird; prey or friend, and the bird’s obvious careful observance is what shows the fighter model within it. A fighter in life will take advantage of all its environment has to offer. And the bird is set to do this in the photography. A fighter is not one to let such benefits pass them by, and in the photographs simple instance of a bird surveying an event, this “fighter” theme is echoed in it’s basic form.

The child featured in Carter’s photograph is a perfect model of forfeit and utter defeat. This tiny, crumpled form displays the “forfeiter” spirit, or lack of spirit, rather. It’s small, beaten and starved body is showing an absolute conquered soul, one that has given up all hope of survival or motivation. In life, the pessimistic nature of the “forfeiter” causes them to find themselves beaten down by the world around them and makes them surrender all will to endure or fight as their opposites do. They lose all optimism and hope. In Carter’s photograph, the tiny child is quite obviously devoid of any hope, as his head is cast downward in the dry earth. Within the photograph, context completely unknown, it is ambiguous whether the child still lives or has lost all life within itself. But either way, it is clear that the child is nearing the end and has lost the will to continue living, as a “fighter” like the bird would.

The two models shown in Carter’s photograph, each representing differing spirits of life and motivation, exemplify the basic fundamentals of all existence. That there are two paradigms of human nature: the “fighter” and the “forfeiter”. Through the two simple figures shown in the photograph, is seen that these two archetypes are essential and elemental.

---

...not bad considering I spent a half hour on this at best. And my conlusion is absolute crap. But c'est la vie.

link-tacular!

2009-08-09T01:22:00.000-07:00

this is basically a link/photo dump of my fascinations lately:

Dino's LIVE!

- I can go? plz?

OWLS! - possibly the most adorable thing I've seen all week.

This is f'n incredible. I wish I had the patience for this. I love the way ink looks (or is this graphite? Because I honestly can't tell) but the little details send me reeling. I like doing fast, emotional, impressionistic slashes and strokes, because that's what my unsteadyhands can handle. Which is why I give up on something like this.
but god, just LOOK AT THAT DETAILING. Fuck.

I just think this is really pretty...

Photoshop DISASTERS! -I've been addicted to this all night.

encore

2009-08-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

a few of my favorite things:

long drives through the countryside
Disneyland
new books
melodic sounds
tiny fish
tights
humming
Pixar
purple
floating clouds
asian food
berets
masquerades
photobooths
concerts in the city
midnight premiers
doughy cookies
crumpled bedspreads
tacky knicknackes
butterflies
tweeting
Death Cab For Cutie
bananas
urban outfitters
a blank canvas
aquariums
ballet flats
photography
Harry Potter
fashion
documentaries
paintbrushes
the Sims
metaphors
the internet
wanted early mornings
scarves and ray bans
California
golden hour
ocean tides
impulsive filming
outer space
polaroids
swimming all day
sunbursts
bike rides
tanlines
blogs
nebulas
memes
vlogs
long talks
typography
dressing up
sweet little kisses
bonfires
going barefoot
bokeh
yoga
hugs
soft sunshine
dolphins
botanical gardens
old cathedral paintings
koalas
redwood trees
the smell of dryer sheets
75 degrees
golden hills
museums
blasting electronic songs

sandcastles

2009-07-31T23:45:00.000-07:00

I really like sandcastles. especially prefessionally crafted ones like this:

SO f'n incredible! I wish I had the patience for that. The other day I was at the beach, trying my hardest to replicate the Disneyland castle. I lasted fifteen minutes at most and only succeeded in recreating the moat and front side...and let me tell you, they looked very little like anything Walt Disney would have designed. Ah well, practice makes perfect right? Too bad I live an hour and half from the beach...

hmm, perhaps I should really stop with this overwhelming optimism, yeah?

ANYWAY, moving on to the regular scheduled blog-programming...of the retelling of interesting (arguably) events from my life and random anecdotes from my mind!

I just got back from a camping/roadtrip that lasted just under a week (this would be the culprit of my disgustingly behind-ness on Twitter, Tumblr, etc. I spent all last night catching up. I have a life, I swear). It was lovely. I spent basically three days emersed in the clear and cool waters of Lake Siskiyou (highly recommend it) and three more days on the chilly coast of Oregon. The trees and mist there were incredibly enchanting. I now will always think of them when listening to Cologne Cerrone Houdini by Goldfrapp and Laughing With a Mouth of Blood by St. Vincent. And as much as I am ashamed and defiant to admit it, the landscape of coastal Oregon particularily eminded me of...Twilight. (I'M SORRY OKAY. SO SPEAR ME IN THE GIZZARD BECAUSE I CAN'T LEAVE MY FRESHMAN YEAR OBSESSIONS BEHIND ME.)

Heh. ookay moving on...

I now have just under two weeks until I start my senior year in high school...and I'm less than half way done with my summer asignments...PANIC.

I so want more TIME, as completely cliche and humanly archetypic that is...and no responsiblity for a few days couldn't hurt, either. At least I have a day at the MoMA freeday in SF coming up. Should be freeing enough for me, maybe? Maybe.

so for now, I am going to continue googling ridiculous things that tickle my fickle fancy (I like that phrase. Will be filing it away in my brain) so to conclude this entry, I'm goning to take a leaf out of the awesomely talented (and beloved FiveAwesomeGirl) HayleyGHoover's blog-book by doing this:

sexy: Coraline, the film. I just watched it today and my goodness, it's a beautiful and wholly creative and haunting film. Adored every inch of it.

unsexy: The other-mother from the aforementioned film. She is so unbelievably creepy! She may make a cameo in my nightmares tonight...(okay not really but still...eeek!)

lookbook

2009-06-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

I just had this crazy LookBook (and some My Modern Metropolis) binge...I probably saved like around twenty photos of styles I'm drooling over. But my absolute FAVORITE was this:

I'm not a huge fan of the random 90's-floral-print trend that seems to be everywhere right now, but still. I want to wearrrr it. I love the light,springy dress and pearls with the dark tights and belt...so dramatic and contrasting. LOVE IT.
I even know where to find like 80% of it from (or at least stuff that looks similar)...sigh.
I am such a seven year old, dress-up-obsessed little girl.

PS: here are some others that caught my eye:

summer

2009-06-22T23:37:00.000-07:00

hot hot heat, bike rides, chlorine, popsicles, sunburns, open windows, clear skies, splashes, late nights, drives, endless fields, sand between your toes, sunglasses, iced drinks, warm concrete, cut grass, sunsets, sunscreen, stretching, summer skin, santa cruz, board games, strawberries, vampire weekend, california, sleeping in, sandals, apricots, shorts, vanilla, tan lines, yoga, sun-bleached strands of hair, infinity.

what I did today....

2009-06-13T22:32:00.000-07:00

she sort of creeps me out when I'm sitting on my bed, and she is on the easel staring back at me...
but it is a start. First portrait I've attempted in about 6 whole months...!

already looking at her on the computer monitor, I can spot about six billion things that are wrong/different and that I am itching to fix...but I think that should have been done in the pre-coloring stage so damnit. oh well, c'est la vie.

acceptance!

2009-06-13T14:59:00.000-07:00

It's kind of odd lately because it hasn't fully, recognizably felt like summer yet. Even though I've been out of school for over a week, the whole "summer stoke" hasn't hit me. I've continued my normal routine that I established, which was some internet browsing, collaging/misc art, cleaning, chilling with friends, etc. This was all stuff I could have done while in school. Maybe that's the reason summer hasn't hit me...because I haven't had one of those stereotypically "summery" outings I usually have (day trips to the beach, walking to 7-11, bonfires, etc). So I'm thinking to myself now: "gen, you need to step up to your freedom and UTILIZE it, yo."

So far, so not-so-good.
I feel like my summer is being wasted away (but not really, because I've still had my share of fuuuun) but seriously, I need MOOORE.
I wish either I had a good supply of money or plane tickets were free so I could travel somewhere....I've got the travel bug as they say on the Travel Channel...Australia sounds lovely right now, no?

ANYWAYS,
I just imported some new (to me, anyway) Sigur Ros to my beloved iTunes library,
and now I'm deciding which songs go best with which of my many playlists....and then I shall perhaps listen to said playlists outside while creating something. What I'll create, I have no idea. Maybe I'll just draw. I dunno. Any suggestions?

Oh, I also (like the dork I am) uploading some art to Facebook. Why? I have no clue. But it's there, oookay? :)

the day has come!

2009-06-05T15:42:00.000-07:00

happy summer :)

truth

2009-05-31T15:54:00.000-07:00

identity

2009-05-31T14:40:00.001-07:00

As a seventeen year old girl, being asked to define your identity is a monumental and immense task. I could stand here and try to explain who I am and what I like and don’t like and my life story. I could tell you that I’m an art geek, a music lover, an internet addict, a friend. I could tell you that I’m just a girl from California whose favorite movie is The Life Aquatic and who doesn’t like potatoes. But that wouldn’t really get me anywhere. To try to describe myself and delineate my identity is impossible, because my identity has not been established, and may never be. It is, in itself, a lack of one. It is both everything and nothing, contradicting and abundant in branches. It is undefined and multifaceted in every way. There is no set “me”, no personality or character that will remain constant until the day I die. I am forever a blank canvas…a clean slate that I can change, add to and recreate at MY own will. My palette, so to speak, is open to new colors, new mixes and new ways to create myself. And that’s the way I like it.

I don’t want to be confined by a definition or stereotype. I want to keep the ability to change my mind and rethink my beliefs. I am a young adult in a world of constant change and evolution of ideas and technology, so why not keep my mind and eyes wide open to the changes happening around me? Every day that I am alive on this planet, there is a chance for new experiences and new ideals to be discovered. I appreciate and immerse myself in the intricate culture of humanity by keeping my identity, myself, as a blank canvas.

The medium I apply to this blank canvas is the world around me. The places I see, the people I meet and everything in between. It all contributes to my identity in some way. Whether on a large scale or in the tiniest amount, the effect of the world on me is profound. I take the things I see and hear, and reshape and imitate and create the thing that becomes who I am. But each day, this “me” could be different. It doesn’t have to stay the same once it is established. And that’s the empowering part of being human, living in the times we are. You don’t simply one day discover a “you”, and then continue on in that same personage. For some people, that may be desirable. But for me, I want something more.

I want to be able to remain in a limbo state, where I am observing the world around me, taking bits from here and there and combining them onto my canvas. I borrow from the environment around me. I merge ideas, beliefs, interests and lifestyles. They fluctuate, shift and reshuffle themselves perpetually, keeping my life exciting and keeping my identity both multifaceted and open for additions and change. It is unpredictable what I may find inspiration in today versus in ten years, or even this minute versus the next. But part of what makes me who I am is this melting pot of traits. My canvas will never complete, and never should be. I will forever add and change and critique myself. And I will never, nor should I ever, be afraid to start anew with a fresh canvas.

Life is what you make of it. And so are you.

WANNABE

2009-05-29T17:19:00.000-07:00

I think that if I ever joined LookBook, then all of my poses for my shots would have to look like this because for some reason I only ever look stylish this way.

C'est la vie.

tina, eat the food

2009-05-21T20:49:00.001-07:00

I've realized recently that I dislike foods that are commonly liked and I like foods that are commonly disliked. Not necessarily in everything I eat, but there are a few striking examples. So I made a little list, kind of. It's incomplete, but here's a "taste" (hahaha PUN)

Foods I don't like that make people look at me funny:

-potatoes. I don't know why, but they just really do nothing for me. Especially baked potatoes. It seems to me that people eat them with mounds of butter and cheese and whatever else, which totally overbears the actual potato, so why even bother with the potato in the first place? They're just so bland and icky. But I must admit that on Thanksgiving, I make myself eat a little mashed goodness, because it's tradition. Oh, and this excludes french fries and the occasional tater tot, of course

- guacamole / avacado. I try really really hard to like it. Really, I do. But it just tastes so-blehg-to me! I see people at those chips-and-dips type parties totally coveting the guacamole bowl and loading their chips with it with expressions of delight, but I can't do it. My tongue just refuses to like it.

Foods I love that make people look at me funny:

-pickles! I love love love pickles, which grosses people out a lot...haha. But really, I think pickles on sandwiches or pickles plain from the jar are a lower form of heaven. Seriously, if I'm snacking and there is nothing else in the house - out comes the pickle jar.

-mushrooms! stuffed, sauteed, chopped - you name it, I looove it. And on pizza with cheese = perfection!

-kiwis whole! so this one doesn't reallyyy count because plenty of people eat kiwi, but not that many people eat kiwis WHOLE. As in, the skin and everything. But I do ;)

I am....odd. Let's just face it.

music

2009-05-18T15:34:00.001-07:00

This weekend was a good one. I was busy busy busy for most of it, but in a good way. I was either gone having fun or at home sleeping or on the internet for a short period of time before leaving again. My weekend last week was similar-and I love it!
The times when I find that I have no time at all are often my favorite types of times, if that makes any sense.

What made this particular weekend so unique was that I finally am stacking up my indie concert credentials (ha-ha). It was my first bonafied "indie" concert, you could say.
The concert in question was Margot & The Nuclear So and Sos at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco. I went for the opener, Telekinesis. And it was so amazingly great. It was such a different experience than going to The Warfield to see something like Metro Station (there were no drunken girls flinging themselves at the stage to try to touch any part of the lead singer's body they could get a hold of, for instance.)

I didn't really know any songs from Margot & The Nuclear So and So's album except the Children on Acid song (that's not the exact title, but you get the point) but now I really want to listen to it over and over. They were really really really great live.

I just freaking love concerts, I've decided. Especially this new breed of live music I've been introduced to. It's made me think about all the bands I would die to see. My music taste has seriously evolved over the last few months, and seeing these bands would top off my life:

1) Sigur Ros
2) Death Cab For Cutie (seeing them in July in Berkeley!)
3) Matt & Kim (seeing them possibly in August?)
4) Tokyo Police Club
5) Andrew Bird
6) Imogen Heap
7) Jimmy Eat World
8) Coldplay
9) Silversun Pickups
10) Shiny Toy Guns (pre-new singer...if only :/)

There are probably loads more, too. I just wish I could see them allllll.

creation + stealing = success

2009-05-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

( click for better quality / reading ability )

I can't help but agree with that ^. In this day and age, the idea of "originality" is indeed a thing of the past. When everything has been done, the only option is to reinvent.

satellite mind

2009-05-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

I woke up today with a fresh perspective, even though nothing's changed dramatically.
But yesterday was one of the best days I've ever had,
and I didn't even realize it until this morning.
Definitely beats any other Cinco De Mayo I've ever experienced.
All I can do is smile.

chimerical me

2009-05-05T16:25:00.001-07:00

Once again, I find myself exploring WeHeartIt.com, and marveling at the sheer amount of photography that's out there.
And I realize, yet again, how much I love just sitting, looking at all of it.
I can search through pages upon pages for hours and be perfectly entertained in my own little world. I feed off of things like that.
To me, visuals provoke my imagination and mind more than any other form of creation...
I can just be examining a few good shots, or any form of an artwork,
and suddenly I want to go drive somewhere and learn to capture life in the same way,
or go to my room and attempt to create something that could be as good as what I saw.

My sight is probably my most treasured sense, to be honest.
I feel inspired. In every fiber. Just seeing, and watching...
and it's wonderful.

---

recent favorites:

ES AYE TEE

2009-05-01T22:07:00.000-07:00

I have SATs tomorrow.
I have to arrive by 7:45 am.
I have to write an essay.
And do all the grueling bubbling in.
Did I mention I have to be there by 7:45 am?

Words cannot fully describe my feelings about this better than this simple symbol:
:(

alackofit

2009-04-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this by saying that I've never been too religious. I'm just too indecisive about even the smallest things in my life to even being to be able to make a decision on such a big issue in human history. That why I prefer to remain neutral, agnostic even. I put my "faith" in the strong basis/evidence of science and it's hard for me to blindly follow The Bible, or any other form of religious "instruction", so to speak. And the same goes for any organized religion. Far too much pain and suffering throughout history has come about because of religion for me to be able to support it fully. Those things tend to stick out in your mind, you know?

But don't get me wrong--I think some aspects of religion can be great! The whole "love your neighbor" thing and all that, and having good, basic morals. That's all a great way to live your life....just reminding yourself to be a good person.

But I still have my issues when people take religion too far. Some people get so self-righteous about it, and shun all others who have a differing viewpoint on certain matters, and live in fear of change or deviation from the Bible. Sure, this may be predominantly common in the extremes of religious followers, but when someone tells me I'm going to hell because I don't go to churhc, it just really makes me glad I've been able to keep an open mind. I like being my OWN person, thank you very much.

SO, my point in all of this backstory is:
-Today I was "stumbling" (yes, it's SO addicting) and I came across this quote from a deconverted missionary:

"The Pirahãs have shown me that there is dignity and deep satisfaction in facing life and death without the comfort of heaven or the fear of hell and in sailing toward the great abyss with a smile.”

This quote completely sums up my opinion on the matter of religion.

I think it's much more important to enjoy your life on earth in a way that makes you happy than to worry about pleasing a force unknown and uncertain.
I'm not so big a fan on worshipping something that feeds on fear & doubt, if you know what I mean.

That is all for today.

P.S Prom tomorrow!

hot hot heat

2009-04-21T15:41:00.000-07:00

Today was so warm and summery and it felt like the last week of school, even though I still have another month and half to get through. It's so odd to think that the seniors will be GRADUATING. It still hasn't hit me. I guess I keep expecting them to come back with us juniors next year, like normal. I keep talking about my schedule next year and wondering who will be in my classes, and I've had to remind myself that half of the "usuals" are going to be off in college futhering their lives. IT'S SO FREAKING SAD. D:

If I'm this upset about the seniors (a lot of which I hardly know) I can't even begin to fathom how I'm going to react next year when the people I've known since kindergarten are going to spearate.
AHHGH. Life needs to slow down a bit. Or at least let me catch up.

spring break is ending

2009-04-12T12:33:00.000-07:00

Spring Break has ended.
Well, not technically, because it's Sunday...
but seeing as all I have planned today is to finish the mounds of homework I still have to do and have an Easter dinner with my family + Brendan (which will be fun, though!) I categorize today as the end. I had a great break though...I just want moooore. It seems like no matter how long a break is, I will never be satisfied...ah well, 'tis human nature.

zoooooooo

2009-04-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

I went to the zoo on Wednesday! The weather was mostly lovely and it reminded me once again how much I freaking love San Francisco. I would write down all the details but I'm far too lazy at the moment, so I will leave you with only this picture to sum up the trip:

spring break!

2009-04-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

spring break = freedom!

:)

here is my tentative plan!
(no reason for posting this other than my own mental-organization...)

WEDNESDAY: SF Zoo / misc SF exploring
THURSDAY: beach exploration (?) or SANTA CRUZ?
FRIDAY: Clara's birthday party
SATURDAY: Santa Cruz! ALL DAY TRIP (if not on Thursday)
SUNDAY: HOMEWORK

lion!

2009-03-29T22:03:00.001-07:00

That's so amazing, I cannot handle it! Reminds me of the Luna Lovegood hat...

ANYWAYS,
the play ended today. :( I am both happy and sad about this. It was time for me to put away the glitter and fairy wings, but I don't want us all to separate...ah oh life is cruel sometimes.

2009-03-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

Young Adult Friction by The Pains of Being Pure At Heart has now become my spring/summer soundtrack.
It makes me want Spring Break to come NOW.
(which I finally have plans for, byyy the way)!
I'm so unbelievably stoked for it. Only one more week of school....ugh!

I'm planning to go to Santa Cruz for a day at the boardwalk/beach with some friends, a day trip into San Francisco for zoo! beach! exploring! and possibly other beach day trips thrown in there, too.

I effing love living in California. Everything I could ever want is so close!

oooh AND I finally got my prom dress! It's silvery purple and in this vaguely Athenian robe style. It's very shiny and girly so I'm happy :)

Now I'm off to go wash some cars for donations. Club Interact whoo!

new obsessions

2009-03-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

so I've added yet another website to my list of dailies:

LookBook!

so many people around the world have such great style! It makes me wonder what I've been doing all my life not paying as close attention as I should! I love this site...so many new outfit ideas! I wish I had more money to buy clothes with...as materialistic as it sounds, I just really freaking love dressing up and putting together styles. So I will leave this entry with some favorites:

life life life

2009-03-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

This time change has made me feel like my days are shorter, which I think it the opposite of what it's supposed to do, right? sigh. It probably has more to do with the fact that I have play rehearsals until five or so and by the time I go home and find time to rest a bit, the night is settling in.

The days themselves are getting clearer and all the flowers are blooming! I'm so happy to live in California on days like these. Except it's still cold! around 50 degrees everyday...grr. I know that's warmer than a lot of the US at this time of year but still...I want some 75 degree weather, please!

But really, when it comes down to it: all I want to do is go to the beach and wear my new sandals. Is that so much to ask of you, Life?

I am consoled, though, because this Saturday I'll be journeying with my sister to San Francisco for the day. We both agreed to not have a plan whatsoever. Prom dress shopping is inevitable, but beach walking and street exploration is even more so. I just love that city so much.

I finally finished registerting for my SATs the other day. Why is it so complicated to do so? So many questions about my activities, relgious preferences and ethnicity--and all for just a test!
But I had to pick at least four schools to send my test scores to (yikes). I chose (in order of likeliness of my acceptance):

San Francisco State University
UC Santa Cruz
UC Davis
UC Berkeley

It's a longshot that I'd get into the last two or three, but I'm hoping for the best! I really want to look into more Art Academies, though, too....but I haven't had too much time...all of the ones in SF look lovely and I'm not really aware of many others nearby so I have a lot of research to do...blah! Oh, and I completely forgot that California College of the Arts existed until they sent me a letter! I'll definitely be looking into that soon...

au revoir for now,

(pssst, I want those shoes)

no common thread

2009-02-26T18:20:00.001-08:00

this blog has no common thread or logical segways so be warned....

Today the sky was blue and white with clouds and golden sunshine and it was oh so lovely-I felt like taking photographs and driving through the country, but alas-I had school. Bleh.

For some updates...
I'm 17 now! My birthday was fun and relaxing and it made me, once again, realize how much I love my friends. one of the girls' gifts was a cool letter tile game called Bananagram which has been addicting so far-aaaaand it came in this hilarious banana-shaped pouch! :D

OH AND I LOVE THIS PHOTO (from Twitter):

Also, I finally acquired some black buckle boots from UO! They came in the mail the other day and they fit perfectly! Now all I need is a little black dress to accessorize and I'm set!

Oh, here's a funny story:
Yesterday after official play practice the cast thought it would be a brilliant idea to trek across town to Wyatt's house for an extended rehearsal. But after walking a good half hour and finally reaching his house (we raided his fridge and moved his furniture around) all we accomplished was a few bullshit read-throughs where mostly we were either laughing or adlibbing with phrases like "let me have mine ice cream." Not so productive, but oh-so fun :)

On another note,
I woke up today and thought it was Friday. Then I realized it was Thursday. And was sad. I need sleep and freetime, pleeeease.

P.S. reading Great Gatsby in AP Lit&Comp and I really like it!

IB SL

2009-02-13T22:54:00.000-08:00

My birthday is in 5 days! But my actual party is on Sunday night...I cannot wait! Even though it'll just be a kickback with 5 of my closest friends, I'm looking forward to relaxing and having a good time!

I went to see Confessions of a Shopaholic tonight with my sister for fun, which turned out to be just as superficial and fun and light as I hoped, so no complaints there. I needed some senseless chick flick-ness in my life and I got it, plus a lovely dose of Hugh Dancy swoon-age!

Rehearsals for the play have been fantastic. I've gotten all my lines memorized & down, and mostly the practices consist of me and the other fairies exploring the balconies and back rooms of the theatres more than actual rehearsing...but that's A-okay with me. I think the play will be great, the cast seems to get along great...everyone is for the most part chill and funny so I'm happyyyy!

Also, I've become obsessed with two very different songs:
Iceage Babeland by Natalie Portman's Shaved Head
and
The Safest Ledge by Copeland

The first because of it's fun and catchy melodies and lyrics that stay in my head for days and days,
and the second because it's just a beautiful song.
LISTEN TO THEM BOTH!

til we meet again,
<3

with my feet on the dash

2009-02-08T22:32:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting here, knowing I should be tucking in for school tomorrow, but I feel that need to run again. I don't know why I always crave a run at late hours in the evening when the sound of the treadmill would wake up my sister (who would then complain and make me stop) sigh. Life is so unfair.

So instead of running, I did some yoga stretches for a while and listened to Death Cab for the first time in too long and now I'm remembering how much their songs mean to me. Something about them makes me just stop and think about everything in my life and think about the future. Especially the song "Passenger Seat." That song is amazing and beautiful and perfect in every way.
It makes me think that all I need in life is a love that could be expressed by Death Cab, and I would be complete.

it's been eons!

2009-02-06T20:58:00.000-08:00

I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG.
wat up wit dat, fool?
(no, I don't actually speak like that)
SOO tomorrow I'm going to plant some trees for my school's environmental club whoo! community service hours, here I come.

Oh, and I was feeling colorful...that explains the silly photos bahaha.
(yes, those are the glasses...again. I can't help it, they make me feel like a rockstar.)

:)

andrew bird

2009-01-13T16:04:00.001-08:00

Been absolutely OBSESSED lately with Andrew Bird's Useless Creatures steam on his website.
beautiful, inspiring, mellow, serene, lovely, insert synonym here!

I want to be in a sunny meadow in the hills now. With a paintbrush and a bug-catcher net. Oh, it is love.

the horror, the horror!

2009-01-13T15:48:00.001-08:00

It was nice and sunny today! cannot explain how entirely happy sunshine plus 60+ weather makes me feel!
I'M DONE WITH WINTER. spring, pleeeeease? sigh. it'll come soon...soooon. This is my mantra.

Auditions for A Midsummer Night's Dream (school play) are next week and I picked up the character list and script today at lunch, but not before wandering around campus with my friend asking where to find them. Oh world, how you love me.

I'm only slightly nervous about auditioning but I feel like this will be a laid back production. I'm not looking to be in the lead by any means, anyway... honestly, all I want is to be a fairy! just MAGICAL! Like Mustardseed or Cobweb or one of those fairies. If I get to dance around stage in wings and glitter with only a line or so I will be perfectly happy! Such a girly girl, I am. :)

Oh, and we started Heart of Darkness today in my AP Comp&Lit class and even though it sounds to be awfully depressing and complex, I'm kind of completely interested. Hope I can enjoy it before I have to work on all my other homework. ugh.

video tiime

2009-01-11T14:29:00.000-08:00

last night, I remade my CSSSA montage vid on youtube because the last one was terrible. This one is better. So I will share: link!

:)

also,
weheartit.com has become ANOTHER addiction to distract me from my mounting homework I have to get done by tomorrow!

BUT I GET MY PHONE BACK TOMORROW WHOOO.

globe!

2009-01-06T19:45:00.000-08:00

I have absolutely no reason for needing this but I WANT it!
glow-in-the-dark-globe!

oohhhh my. me want NOW.
I love UO, seriously. I'm *hopefully* getting a new bedspread for my birthday and a bit of a room make over (since my room still painfully reflects my 13 year old self) and all items will be purchased there. me=:)

mistake

2009-01-05T18:28:00.000-08:00

So I made one substantial mistake over these past few days, and although it caused some uncomfortable and guilt-soaked moments, I'm glad I learned my little life lesson. The only casualty is dissolved trust and the restriction of my social life for two-ish weeks. Sigh.

BUT I'M BETTER NOW, oookay?

Listening to new Snow Patrol and old Nightmare of You, which simultaneously makes me want to sit alone in my room and run through some meadows in the springtime with friends clothed in UO and armed with cameras. Yeah, I'm in one of THOSE moods.

Right now school is the last thing on my mind but life and breaks are the first. Awh well. Sometimes I really love learning and other times I just want to know that I'm not wasting my life sitting in a classroom when I could be doing so much more. LIFE IS HARD, man.

Oh, and I sort of broke my sister's laptop. Well, the laptop itself is absolutely fine except the little thing that you put DVDs and CDs into is broken. Ugh. Just go on and add another layer of guilt to my life, why don't you?

Thank the high heavens for Twitter.

P.S. hot hot heat please?

2009

2008-12-31T19:43:00.000-08:00

NEW YEARS EVE. or it will be here on the west coast in 4 and one half hours.

:D

done

2008-12-26T16:42:00.000-08:00

the chrismas haul this year was good, couldn't ask for more. and my dad made me buy these:

except now i'm totally ready for summer. sigh.

going to my sister's friends house tonight for some cards like old times. stoked!

[still awaiting news on the ugly sweater party]

12.01

2008-12-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

merry christmas eve :)

i dare you

2008-12-23T17:07:00.000-08:00

just got back from buying the LG DARE!
so so happy in that synthetic-technology-caused-way:)
Besides a grumble from the father about "unfair taxing" it went rather smoothly and now the little guy is charging in my room in preparation for his grand opening on the 25th.

Excuse me while I attempt to purge my memory of buying it so as to create a more wholesome Christmas morning.

fedora

2008-12-22T16:25:00.000-08:00

i'm so glad CSSSA had a thrift sale and I was able to get this fedora for a mere 6 bucks.
life is great.
and so is dress up.

2008-12-22T15:22:00.001-08:00

playing dress up (or rather make-up) is fun. especially when you're imitating grunge.

though my webcam doesn't capture the extent of the damage i did to my skin cells, its still the thought that counts

ramble

2008-12-21T22:35:00.000-08:00

i spent all of today cleaning/organizing my room. what a mess it was. but i feel so refreshed now, so it's good.

3ish days til christmas!

thrice

2008-12-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

we are not invincible.
that's something i've learned this year...

the third death of a student this semester was announced today.

please stop it. too much to deal with, even if i had no connections, emotionally or otherwise.

let's not do this again, kids, okay?

i don't want this blog to be one of those sobby rant outlets.

ps: new youtube vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI8B-NzYMrE&feature=channel_page

incubus

2008-12-19T15:23:00.000-08:00

ooh! Love Hurts just came on shuffle. haven't heard it in forever. still looove it, naturally.

linkage:

dA: http://www.xxgen.deviantart.com
myspace: http://www.myspace.com/xxgen
twitter: http://www.twitter.com/twistedlogicx

i'm allllll over the social networks. i notice that i use a lot of xs in my usernames. ouch. my middle school self (aka the person who made these sns up) should have been more creative.

P.S. nostalgia! linkin park just came on after incubus. this is so 4th grade.

black basics

2008-12-19T15:14:00.000-08:00

i want some flat black boots. knee high preferably. like these:

and some black tights to go with them. i think my mom might think I'm going "goth" [hah] because my list of "to-gets" for clothes shopping are all basic black items (black cardigan, simple black boots, black tights, black 3/4 sleeve blouse)

they're just wardrobe basics, mom, i promise.