Tuesday, June 22, 2010

innermost musings?

Today I was going through some of my old journal entries from when I was about 9-11 years old today and I've realized just how geeky and awkward I was as a child. Every other page is either profusely expressing my love for Harry Potter and Neopets or else explaining the innermost intricacies of my overflowing depth with frequent musings such as, "I'm bored," or "I was listening to Justin Timberlake today." Yeah. Like I said, depth.

My entries were very sparse and far between and at one point skips two years. I guess I was just never the journal keeping type? I wish I had the dedication to remember to document all my thoughts in a more productive way then just tumblr. Which is why I am surprised at myself for buying a moleskin recently. And I've actually been pretty good at filling it up with things. Not so much in the way of words, but more like little notes and sketches. I'm actually really really liking it. This is mostly because I started following "fuckyeahmoleskinart" on tumblr and found the lovely LLYMLRS on Lookbook/Blogspot and both outlets have inspired me to document more of my daily imaginings. Hopefully I keep up the habbit because as we've seen with my journal and this blog, sometimes I'm hard pressed to keep up with a creative outlet. But I'm going to really try to!

I was writing out a list of all the books that I'm taking with me to college in my journal today and it got me thinking...something about college combined with a fresh moleskin makes me really exhilarated. I love the idea that I get to start fresh this coming year. Now that I've defined myself and know at least half well what I'd like to do with my career, I think its going to be a turning point for me. I can't wait to explore the city and the Fine Arts building at SFSU. I am unbelievably excited. But it's very strange to think that college is finally almost here. Now that I have a roommate set up and bedsheets picked out, it seems REAL. Even though I'm a tad intimidated by the idea of living in a big city and making friends with strangers and figuring out bus schedules and holding my own in college classes and having to manage finances and be a GROWN UP...I'm so ready. I really feel like I've been ready my whole senior year. Something about this past year was just off with me. I had a lot of fun with my friends and I don't regret the time I got to spend with everyone, but I felt disconnected the whole time. I knew I was going to San Francisco and I knew what I was going to do so my mind was constantly in the future. And its hard to want to stay in my small town at times. Although it has gorgeous farmland and picturesque views, I really feel like I belong in the city. At least for now. Every time I visit San Francisco I'm reminded of just how much I fit in and how much I love it. Especially at SFSU. Looking around at the people who go there and meeting people through the facebook group for incoming freshmen, I seem to have so much in common with everyone. Which is a LOT more than can be said about my fellow classmates in high school. But oh well, what can you do. I was a bit of a lone reed (props if you get the chick flick ref?) but alls well now. Everyone finds their niche eventually and I think I've found mine. As my old biology teacher said, "San Francisco is like my happy place."

Anyways, I'm going to go watch me some Skins now, so I leave you with:

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
-I haven't finished it yet but so far I love it. I've been meaning to read it for awhile (ever since I saw Everything Is Illuminated years ago and learned that it was based on a book and that Jonathan had written other books blah blah blah) I love the style it's written in. I'm going to aim to work on finishing it soon.
listened to: Tokyo Police Club's new album Champ
-oh my Canada, these boys have done it again. I've always had a special spot in my little heart for this band. Something about their melodies and lyrics stands out to me more than other bands. And I am so happy that their new album lives up and given time I'm sure their lyrics and songs will hold the same meaning to me as their old ones. (favorites off the album: Bambi, Favorite Color)
traveled to: DISNEYLAND. Best three days of the summer for sure. AND WORLD OF COLOR WAS FREAKING PHENOMENAL HOLY CRAP.
wore: I actually posted a legitimate look on my lookbook. go see!